Where do we start (School)?

My daughter, Bee, is 3 1/2 and as of a few months ago we have decided to start a homeschool environment for her through her preschool years starting this fall. So far, I have been motivated towards the Montessori teaching methods. I also have a newly finished room in the basement that will accommodate this school room for the time being.

During the spring I had the opportunity to do a "Mommy and Me Montessori" experience. This really brought the idea of education onto my "to do" list. From this I was able to watch the interaction with the teachers, explore the room, and learn more about Montessori and their way of learning. I very much enjoyed the child directed work and the individual pace of learning allowed to each child. My husband and I felt that maybe we would be best served by sending our daughter to the school, and for a few months, we felt we had crossed this "to do" item of our list.

During the summer, our daughter had her first three hour camp with the same school. This was the first time she was away from us for any length of time. For more on this you can see my other post on breaking away. While the Montessori teaching method was much more to our liking, I think we let our guard down in a couple of areas. First, the nutrition guidelines we follow are not mainstream (yet) and we did not like the idea that she would be different from the others. Second, while the small class sizes initially attracted us to the school - the classroom would still have 25 children in it (there are just more teachers in the same room). So, discovering these concerns, we decided to table the discussion. Preschool is voluntary after all.

I did a little research in the local area as to homeschooling co-ops to see if any one had a montessori based curriculum - but I was out of luck. Again, the topic was tabled. At this time it was my thinking that I could not do it alone so I would need a coop to help and to socialize.

Over the summer a friend, who lives overseas, and I began talking about the subject of education and what the next steps will be for our children. She is under more pressure where she is as most children enter school at two (the country culture prizes rigorous academic standards from the beginning.)

She and I came to the conclusion that we could give our children a good primer just by teaching the basics at a level they could understand and mostly through play. She led me to a great blog post on toddler activity trays from the Sun Scholars blog. It was here that the can of worms was opened. And, from here, this turned into a more full recognition of path I was on.

At this point there is not a day that goes by that I do not feel excited at the prospect of getting to teach my daughter and watch her grow and develop in an academic sense. There is also not a day that goes by that I am not feeling frightened about the prospect of teaching her something wrong, or not knowing the answer to a question, or the idea "what if I am not a good teacher."

From the assumption that we would send our daughter to a school (and probably starting at the preschool age) at the beginning of the year to assembling the bones of a school room we have come a long way and we have a long way to go!

Breaking Away from Mommy-and-Me

Our daughter has been with us since she was born. We had moved away from immediate family and friend networks. So when Bee was born we were pretty much on our own. A couple hour stints with Grammy excepting, Bee was always with either me or my husband.

For socializing and being around other children, I had many classes I went to with Bee; swimming, music, gymnastics, art, sign language - you name it. But these were all Mommy and Me. What do you do when all of a sudden they turn a certain age (in our case three years old) and there is no more Mommy in the class?

I do not know how I came up with the plan, but timing could not have worked out better. Bee would start by having a short 30 minute swimming class on her own at three, then later the next month her Kindermusik class would transition to be by herself and finally a month later, a three hour summer camp with the folks at Montessori.

To ease the separation anxiety I had planned the transition to make sure we had mommy and me classes at all three places prior to the switch which in my opinion made all the difference. When she went to each class, she already knew the location, teacher, and how the class progressed prior to a class on her own. We did run into a little trouble with our fisrt attempt when the swim teacher demanded I go sit behind the glass on the far end of the pool area which I was not expecting. During the next class I was then allowed to sit next to the pool which worked just fine. I brought a book and tried not to look or pay too much attention to what was going on which I think made the teacher feel more at ease and allowed Bee to know I was there, but not be interacting with her. Each class she did better and better.

Our next "on our own" class was Kindermusik, a beginning music and movement class which I cannot advocate enough. We have been attending these classes since Bee was 1 year old and she just loves it. This class was on her own and I was out of the room without a viewing area. The first day she asked for me a couple times. It turns out that enlisting your child to help with the solution really does help. The next class, I talked with Bee and she said she would feel more secure if I left my bag in the room that way she KNEW I would be back. Evidently, I do not go anywhere without my bag. I would have never thought of that!  She did just fine with no worry about where I was. She helped me decide where to put my bag in the classroom and we got there early enough to read a book together before the instructor asked for the books to be put away. I said goodbye and she was already off onto helping with the books.

Last, we had a three hour summer camp hosted by the Montessori School. This was the big test. The drop off is at the door with an instructor or helper coming out to get the child. The school threw a small wrench when a person neither of us had seen before came to get Bee from the car on the first day. It compounded when the lady said the instructor we knew was not there that day. But I reminded Bee that she knew the location and would know the instructor when she came back the next day. After a few tears and an unwillingness to leave the car, I simply asked Bee if she could show the new instructor to the classroom she was supposed to be in. At that moment she got right out of the car and took the new instructors hand, and walked her (presumably) to the room with the red circle by the door! By the end of the week after we had cycled through all the possible helpers that would take her and bring her back to the car, she was even forgetting to say goodbye!

I think the experience where we planned for increased independence (and decreasing amounts of my presence) worked for us and could not have worked out better. And as a closing thought, it is true what seasoned parents say. I think it was much harder for me than it was for her!

As I write this post and have a general feeling that we had this separation issue tackled I realize this is not quite over. What will we do now once we start totally new classes with new locations, teachers and programs?